I have a tendency to get stuck on terminology, and the word “control” bothers me. Maybe it’s because I’m a control freak. But in a good way. Actually it’s because, when referring to diabetes, it’s just not relevant. There are many things in life that we can’t control, and diabetes is one of them. Instead, I prefer to say “manage.” It just feels more positive and do-able to me. I can definitely manage diabetes and I do it every day.
Something I’ve noticed a lot as I’ve read posts about diabetes are words like “fight” and “battle” and “enemy.” I am not making this up: I have never approached diabetes as my enemy or as a battle that I have to fight. Please don’t think I’m being PollyAnna-ish. I believe that we choose our attitudes and the outcomes of those attitudes. If we choose to think of diabetes as a battle we have to fight, I truly believe it will be just that.
I know many people despise hearing diabetes compared to things like cancer, and as a rule I don’t play the comparing game. But just for a minute, I let myself think about life with cancer (I spent some time working with kids who had cancer) and I believe it is a win-lose battle. There are now types of cancer that are more chronic diseases than acute diseases – thanks to much research, etc. But when we think of cancer we still think of life and death. And we think of fighting a battle against an enemy. And we think of all those people who have conquered that enemy and put it behind them. And those who lost.
What works for me is to manage diabetes. I make it part of my day, every day. But it’s not the most important part. My family, my job, my interests, my life are all more important. By managing my diabetes, I can keep all of that in perspective and focus on the most important things. Yes, there are moments when I have to put diabetes first. There are also moments when I have to put other things – that I wouldn’t have chosen to – first.
In no way do I discount how hard it is to manage diabetes – whether for oneself or a loved one. I am not saying that we have to like diabetes or that diabetes has to be our “friend.” I’m certainly not saying that there aren’t frustrating moments. I am just suggesting that our approach – our attitude – can make all the difference. If we try to “control” diabetes, there’s a good chance we’re going to feel out of control much of the time, and I just don’t have time for that.